


Dear Dr Magwilde

by weakinteraction



Category: Bonekickers
Genre: Epistolary, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-25 02:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12521248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weakinteraction/pseuds/weakinteraction
Summary: Digging through the archaeological layers of the inbox of Dr Gillian Magwilde.





	Dear Dr Magwilde

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shorina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shorina/gifts).



`From: archaeology@preprints.croatoan.edu`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Today's papers uploaded`

There were 6 (six) papers uploaded to the croatoan.edu preprints server in the last 24 hours which fulfilled your preset search parameters:

[95236] Early Iron Age settlements in Andalusia: an overview  
[95242] Dating Cornish tin mines using a combination of primary archaeological data and Roman trading records  
[95247] EXCALIBUR: A new software package for EXtracting CALIBrated Unparameterised Residuals from satellite data  
[95248] Re-analysis of geophysics data from the La Terriona Paleolithic site using EXCALIBUR  
[95263] Astronomical events in the archaelogical record: a possible appearance of Halley's comet in newly deciphered Babylonian tablets  
[95278] New perspectives on resolving dating discrepancies between dendrochronology and radiometric techniques

To view abstracts for these papers, please visit `http://preprints.croatoan.edu` using the web browser software of your choice.

If you wish to change your email settings for this service, including changing your search parameters and unsubscribing, please visit `http://preprints.croatoan.edu/manage_account`

* * *

`From: ventures@admin.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwiledg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Timesheets and expenses`

Hi Gillian,

I know you're busy (as are we all :), but we really need you and your team to submit all their timesheets and expenses claims for the dig at the Greenton Ashburgh site last month before we can invoice the client. I know it seems like a distraction from your point of view, but we have good evidence that being prompt about this sort of thing makes a difference to repeat business.

Miss Davis has submitted hers, as have the two undergraduates who accompanied you, but as well as yours, we're still waiting for Professor Parton's and Dr Ergha's. Do you want me to chase them separately or can I ask you to tell them when you see them?

Thanks,  
Julie

* * *

`From: erghab@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Last night`

Are you sure you want to permanently delete this email unread?

 **OK** Cancel

* * *

`From: davisv@postgrad.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: [No Subject]`

Hi big sis,

(Y'know, I'm still not quite used to saying that!)

Do you think I should apply for this?

`http://www.mercia.ac.uk/archaeology/vacancies/postdoctoral_position_two_year_fixed_term.php`

You know I'd stay here in a heartbeat if there was a position, but I have to start thinking about my future.

And if I do apply, who do you think I should ask to be a referee?

love  
Viv

* * *

`From: ventures@admin.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Re: Timesheets and expenses`

Thanks, Gillian, I didn't know they weren't in today. I'll email them separately.

I'm sorry the dig didn't yield any interesting archaeology, but it was still worthwhile to the client in enabling them to proceed having met all regulatory requirements.

Julie

* * *

`From: partong@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Very best of luck, old girl`

Just writing to say good luck with the Research Framework Review later today.

Sorry I can't be there for moral support; this "Enhancing Teaching Quality" course Ben and I are on is perfectly ghastly, as expected.

On the bright side, my old friend Pat Kerr - I'm sure you remember her from that night in Dublin in '02, though I'm not sure *I* remember any of it - is here with one of her postdocs, so we're all in the corner making fun of it together. Could be worse.

Best,  
Dolly

* * *

`From: davisv@postgrad.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: RE: RE:`

I know you can't do it, conflict of interest and all that. I think _technically_ it should be Daniel, but it'd be OK to use Dolly, wouldn't it? I mean, Ben's the one who knows my work best, but I think it looks better if it's a professor.

V

PS I really would stay here if something came up, but I have to start thinking about this sort of thing sooner or later. I'm supposed to submit this year!

* * *

`From: facilities@admin.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk; mastiffd@staff.uow.ac.uk; horacef@staff.uow.ac.uk; prentisss@staff.uow.ac.uk; olivern@staff.uow.ac.uk; debeauchampst@staff.uow.ac.uk;`  
`Subject: Important: Change of venue`

This afternoon's Research Framework Review meeting for the Archaeology Department will now be held in HH452 rather than HH311 as previously advised, in order to accommodate the larger committee now in place for this meeting.

UoW Facilities Team

* * *

`From: mastiffd@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Re: Important: Change of venue`

Gillian,

I'm very sorry to hear that you feel "ambushed"; I assure you that the change in the committee make up was not of my doing. The Deputy Vice-Chancellor only indicated his interest in attending yesterday, and of course if he's there various other people are going to want to have the opportunity to contribute their perspectives as well.

Obviously, we as a department would be in a stronger position for the meeting with a few more recent publications under our belt. I've been doing my best to finish up my paper on agricultural usage patterns in the Casterbridge area during the early mediaeval period, of course, but with the daily admin burden that comes with running the department it's really very difficult to get a proper block of time to work on it. As it is, we're riding on the coattails that one old paper of Gregory's with the high citation index, but of course one of these days someone might notice that those citations are mostly disagreeing with it violently.

Have you heard anything yet about that paper you've had going back and forth to Archaeological Review? Some good news on that front would make a real difference. Or has Miss Davis got anything up her sleeve?

Daniel

* * *

`From: davisv@postgrad.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: RE: Papers`

Hi Gillian,

Oh, god, I'd forgotten that was today. I'm sorry to have been bothering you with job stuff.

I had a good look at what I've got so far on my thesis when we talked about this last month and I really haven't got anything that can be hived off into a paper of its own. It's the overall argument that makes the difference, not the individual parts of it, and I don't think any journal is going to want to publish an entire thesis. Even if I had finished it.

Sorry,  
V  
x

PS As soon as I hit send I'm coming up there with a big cup of coffee for you.

* * *

`From: ar-editors@rileypublising.com`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk; partong@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: "Isotopic Analysis of Meteoric Iron Found In Multiple Artefacts"`  
`Attachments: review_form_0432.pdf, review_form_0501.pdf`

Dear Dr Magwilde and Professor Parton,

Firstly, please accept our apologies for the protracted delay in responding to the latest submitted version of your paper (now stripped of its provocative subtitle, thank you for your co-operation in that matter). We are sure you are both aware of the timelines involved in academic publishing and the peer review process but we felt that we owed you a special explanation in this particular case.

Given that this particular paper has had so many revisions already, the editorial board agreed that it would be best to take the unusual step of simultaneously sending it to both the existing peer reviewer and a new anonymous reviewer unaware of the paper's somewhat troubled history. Both of their reports are attached for you to read.

As you can see, neither reviewer feels that the paper is fit for publication in its current form. We are very disappointed to have to inform you that the board do not feel that the paper meets the standards of academic rigour we required for The Archaelogical Review and will not be considering any further resubmissions. We would second the new reviewer's suggestion that, stripped of most of the speculative content (which we do acknowledge is significantly reduced compared to earlier drafts), the results might be of interest to the Journal of Applied Radiometry.

Yours sincerely,  
The Editors

\--  
The Archaeological Review  
Keeping the field up to date since 1866  
View online at `http://ar.rileypublishing.com/`

* * *

`From: partong@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Re: Bastards (Was: "Isotopic Analysis of Meteoric Iron Found In Multiple Artefacts")`

Gillian,

This is disappointing, I know, especially with the review meeting coming up later. But please don't do anything hasty.

Best,  
Dolly

PS I have to say, I do think it's a bit much to call JAR a "wank mag for physicists who want to pretend their field has wider application". One of my earliest publications was in there, you know!

* * *

`From: archaeology@preprints.croatoan.edu`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Acknowledgement of uploaded preprints`

Dear Dr Magwilde,

This is an automated confirmation of your upload of the following paper:

Isotopic Analysis of Meteoric Iron Found In Multiple Artefacts: How Widely Did Excalibur Travel?

consisting of the following source files:

`excalibur_paper_v1.tex`  
`fig_1_(enhanced).jpeg`  
`fig_2.jpeg`  
`fig_3_(no_this_one).jpeg`  
`fig_4_(was_5).png`  
`fig_5_(was_6).jpeg`  
`fig_6_(the_old_4).jpeg`  
`fig_7_(I'm_the_lead_author,_Dolly,_and_I_say_we_include_it).png`  
`fig_8.jpeg`

This paper will now be numbered 95316 in our preprint indexing system and made available in multiple formats (`95316.ps`, `95316.pdf`, etc.); it will be immediately available to view online and included in the next digest summaries sent to subscribers.

If you have any issues or queries following your submission, please contact `support@preprints.croatoan.edu` and we will do our best to assist you.

Thank you for submitting your paper,  
croatoan.edu preprints team

* * *

`From: do-not-reply@web.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Unusual web activity`

The following web pages under your control:

`http://web.uow.ac.uk/~magwildeg/bio.shtml`  
`http://web.uow.ac.uk/~magwildeg/research.shtml`  
`http://web.uow.ac.uk/~magwildeg/publications.shmtl`

are experiencing unusually heavy web traffic at the present time. This may be the result of a Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack mounted against your web pages. A Distributed Denial of Service attack occurs when a network of computers under the control of a malicious actor (often without the awareness of the owners, whose computers have been hijacked by malware) all request the same web resource simultaneously.

Automated measures to deal with this situation have already been implemented, but you may find that you yourself experience difficulties using or updating these pages. Alternatively, you may receive queries from legitimate users. If so, please feel free to link them to `http://web.uow.ac.uk/web_team/anti-ddos-measures.shtml`

If you have any queries, or are aware of any reason why a malicious actor may have decided to attack your pages that would be helpful for us to know about, please contact `webmaster@admin.uow.ac.uk`

* * *

`From: partong@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Re: Bastards (Was: "Isotopic Analysis of Meteoric Iron Found In Multiple Artefacts")`

You did something hasty, didn't you? My phone keeps ringing in the middle of this session on maintaining students' attention, it's getting embarrassing.

I thought we'd agreed not to put this paper on the preprint server, given everything. Oh well, it'll all come out in the wash I suppose. But not even JAR will touch it now.

Dolly

* * *

`From: mastiffd@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Preprint`

Gillian,

I'm getting some rather bizarre queries from certain sectors about that paper of yours. I hope I have misunderstood them; I thought it was agreed that it wouldn't be pre-released so that only the final peer revieed form ever saw the light of day?

If you have put it up on croatoan.edu then it will make the meeting with the DVC later much more difficult to manage. I can't be seen to be advocating for nonsensical speculation and reckless ignoring of agreed procedures.

D

* * *

`From: henrietta_sanderson@itv-wessex.com`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Possible interview?`

Dear Dr Magwilde,

I was wondering if you might be interested in being interviewed on local news tonight? I understand you've published some very interesting results today that might have a bearing on local legends.

Yours sincerely,  
Henri Sanderson  
Local Correspondent  
ITV Wessex

* * *

`From: mastiffd@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Excellent news!`

Dearest Gillian,

I've just heard from the admissions team that interest in V400, V401, V403 and V441 (Sandwich) has gone up by over 300% in the last two hours. They've been spending most of the day answering telephone queries and apparently you crashed the server temporarily as well. I know you've always wanted more recognition for your and your team's work, and it looks like you're finally getting it.

Obviously, at the meeting later on, we can talk about the plans going forward to accelerate the formal publication of your results, but I think everyone understands that there's a balance between Research and Teaching; that's why we've sent Gregory and Ben on their course today, after all. In the end, if we had no undergraduates, there wouldn't be a university for very much longer (however much work we might manage to get done before we did close down!).

I'm sure the DVC will want to pass on his best wishes when he sees you as well.

See you there,  
Daniel

* * *

`From: erghab@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: RE: Weird day`

Dolly told me! Some of it, anyway ... (And I should warn you that Viv has promised to record your moment of stardom for us to watch later; Dolly and I will still be on the train.)

A drink definitely sounds good to me. We're not back from this thing 'til late, though. We might just make it in time for last orders, though?

Ben

* * *

`From: archaeology@preprints.croatoan.edu`  
`To: magwildeg@staff.uow.ac.uk`  
`Subject: Today's papers uploaded`

There were 4 (four) papers uploaded to the croatoan.edu preprints server in the last 24 hours which fulfilled your preset search parameters:

[95288] Mummification vs decomposition: sensitive dependence on conditions of burial  
[95316] Isotopic Analysis of Meteoric Iron Found In Multiple Artefacts: How Widely Did Excalibur Travel?  
[95324] Overview of techniques used for sensitive sites when under significant time pressure  
[95337] Paleoanthropology: what can we discern about ancient legends from surviving sources?

To view abstracts for these papers, please visit `http://preprints.croatoan.edu` using the web browser software of your choice.

If you wish to change your email settings for this service, including changing your search parameters and unsubscribing, please visit `http://preprints.croatoan.edu/manage_account`


End file.
